Carnival!
by FossilQueen1984
Summary: Bianca Castafiore is hosting a Carnival ball in Ypres, and has invited Tintin, Helene, their children and everyone from Torchwood. In the ensuing festivities, all matter of feelings and adventures abound. Can Jack Harkness avoid being flamboyant or will Haddock strangle him first? Tintin/Helene, Haddock/Rosamund, Castafiore/Calculus and Ianto/Harkness.
1. Chapter 1

Carnival!

An Adventures of Tintin/Torchwood story

Written by: FossilQueen1984

Disclaimer: Hey again fellow Tintin and Torchwood fans! With Lent upon us, I thought up this little ditty. As a heads up, Tintin, Helene and their families are Anglican as they are in my other stories. That aside, enjoy. I still own nothing except Tintin and Helene's children and Haddock's wife, Rosamund. All other characters are the sole property of their creators.

Suggested Soundtrack: Mandolin Concerto in C, RV 425- Vivaldi, Book of Days/Wild Child- Enya

Chapter One: You're Invited!

The late January sunshine petered in and out of the austere windows of the Head Teacher's office inside Marlinshire Day School. Sitting in the wood and steel chairs sat the reporter known as Tintin, his wife Helene and their infant daughter, Roxanna. The twins, Lynette and Tobias were just seven, and their little brother Vincent was four and a bit. After Roxanna's birth, Tintin and Helene had moved to Marlinspike Hall to be closer to Haddock and Rosamund, and because their flat in Brussels was much too small for a large family. Also, the schools were better.

The twins and Vincent had attended school in Marlinspike before, when the parents were out of town or when they were called away to help with Torchwood. With the spring semester underway, Tintin and Helene were enrolling their three older children into the nursery school and primary programs. As usual, the twins had been given a battery of tests for appropriate placement. As expected, Lynette, Tobias and Vincent had done well enough to be skipped ahead a whole year. The head was rather insistent on placing such gifted youngsters in advanced classes; but Helene and Tintin were adamant about the twins being with children their own age, this also applied to Vincent.

So, that afternoon in the office of Head Mistress Antilles, Tintin and Helene were finishing up the paperwork that would allow their children to start attending classes. Starting that Tuesday, Lynette and Tobias would be in First Cycle, first year students while Vincent would be in with the four year olds. The nursery school was on site and this made it easy for older and younger siblings to relay messages to teachers.

Glancing over her glasses, the woman replied to the couple, "Well Monsieur and Madam Berlioz, I can say with great certainty that your paperwork has been filed and sent in correctly, the twins and Vincent are now enrolled. I look forward to seeing them next week." Shaking their hands, she showed them to the door. Roxanna cooed as Tintin placed her in the pram and he and Helene made their way to the playground.

The snow had been cleared from the expansive blacktop and three brunette children were scampering around the piles of ice and rock salt. Lynette waved her scarlet knit hat above her head like a flag, letting her braids sail behind her. "Luke, Han! Get over here, I found a great place for the new Rebel base." Laughing, her brothers raced over and Vincent kicked at the pile with his boot. "Looks good to me, Leia. But, will it melt?" His ice blue eyes looked questioningly at his older brother, who shrugged and replied it might but they could always make a new base at home. Tobias took his hat and crawled to the top and claimed it in the name of the Rebel Alliance.

"What's the view like," Lynette called up to him. Tobias replied he had an awesome view, so Lynette and Tobias joined him. From the perch, Vincent spotted two adults and a pram slowly approach their fort. "Imperials off the port bow," he yelled as Lynette chucked a snowball at her father. Tintin waved to them and requested to hold their fire as they squealed, "Daddy, mummy!" The reporter was tackled by three children, and he kissed them all softly.

Glancing at the fort, Helene inquired about whose hat was designated as flag. Lynette blanched, "Whoops that's my hat! Come on Chewie, Mum and Dad are here." Securing it on her head, she cooed over her baby sister as Snowy reluctantly returned from the benches. As usual, Tintin and Helene left him with the children so they wouldn't wander off. As there were no children in the vicinity of Marlinspike Hall close to their ages, Lynette, Tobias and Vincent played together in the large manor house. Even after starting school and making friends of their own, the twins and Vincent still remained close.

It was an half hour walk from town back home, so it did not surprise Archibald Haddock in the least when he caught an oft familiar sight out the library window. His ginger son-in-law holding a little boy of four on his shoulders, a boy and girl a few years older racing after Snowy and his daughter pushing a pram with a three month old little girl with wispy chocolate curls. He and Rosamund had been surprised that all four of their grandchildren had dark hair and impossibly blue eyes, surely one of them would have been a ginger like their father.

The front doors flung open as Helene called out, "Dad, Mum we're back!" Haddock greeted them and was informed by his grandchildren that they would be attending a new school and were quite excited by the prospect. Roxanna, wanting some attention, squawked from her mother's arms as Rosamund walked in and cuddled the infant. The conversation spilled over into the library as Vincent and the twins were shooed upstairs for an early bath and dinner.

As soon as they had tramped off to the nursery, Tintin took hold of Roxanna and cuddled her and asked Haddock, "Well Captain, what was so important you had to tell us with the children out of hearing?" Sipping from his flask, Haddock produced a note card that bore Bianca Castafiore's signature. "Well Tintin, Helene- we all have been invited to a Carnival masquerade. Billions of blue blistering barnacles, I have told that dotty diva we are Anglican, not a bunch of undersexed, overstuffed Catholics. She also wants the children to attend and to make matters worse, she also invited Sec, Ianto and Harkness!" Tintin and Helene couldn't see why that would be a problem, Jack and Ianto kept the sexual aspects of their relationship in the bedroom since the children started getting older and ambulatory.

Rosamund agreed with them on this matter, if they were all going to a masquerade, what would the harm be? Haddock countered that this was no ordinary party, this was a Carnival masquerade and this meant costumes and masks. Who knew what Harkness would claim as his costume? Would it even be in good taste?

It was here Calculus and the Torchwood crew entered the conversation. Calculus smiled at the young couple, "So are the little ones enrolled? Splendid, splendid I'm sure they are excited about starting school. Aha, that's where the invitation went. Tintin and Helene, are you familiar with Carnival? I'm sure you have learned about the street festivals in Aalst and Halle from news coverage. Well, I spoke with Bianca over the phone and the gala with be this Saturday evening at 17:00. Costumes are traditional, but you don't have to dress up." He sighed contentedly and showed his pendulum to an interested Roxanna. Haddock and Rosamund felt they should at least RSVP before taking the conversation any farther.


	2. Chapter 2

Carnival!

An Adventures of Tintin/Torchwood story

Written by: FossilQueen1984

Disclaimer: Once again, I own nothing except my characters!

Suggested soundtrack: Hard Day's Night/Help!- The Beatles, Solo and the Princess- John Willians

Chapter 2: Costume Challenges

The next morning at breakfast, Tintin and Helene told the kids about the gala they would be attending. Excited cheers erupted as they began peppering the adults with all sorts of questions: Where was Signora Castifiore holding her gala? How late would they be allowed to stay up? Were adults also going to be in costume? Laughing, Tintin informed them, "Calm down, Mum and I can't answer all your questions jumbled up like that. Signora Castifiore is holding her party in Ypres this Saturday. You can wear whatever you feel like wearing, but no changing once we leave. You can stay up as late as you want, I'm sure there'll be a room for Roxanna to sleep in." Helene nodded in agreement and added that they needed to behave. Agreeing, all three promised to behave and chowed down on their oatmeal before clearing the dishes and invading the conservatory to work on school lessons provided by their future teacher.

Burping Roxanna, Helene wondered if she and Tintin would go in costumes. It was one thing for All Hallows Eve and everyone told spooky stories. This would be new, people they had met would be playing parts unfamiliar to others in social circles. Tintin said, "The point of a masquerade is to be wearing a mask. I'm sure something will spark our interest." Kissing her cheek, Tintin walked upstairs and began typing a news story about the latest soccer match he, Vincent and Snowy attended. The ever loyal fox terrier planted himself in between the playpen and the bassinet, awaiting Helene and Roxanna. When they entered, Snowy barked happily and observed the cooing infant in her playpen, tail wagging.

Meanwhile, Haddock and Rosamund were filing reports and paperwork for Torchwood's tax returns. Sec greeted them and said to them, "This dressing up for religious reasons before a time of mourning and self-denial is most intriguing. From what I understand, this is common among those of the Catholic sect and not others. This will be most exciting to observe." Humming the latest Beatle's hit, the Dalek-Human hybrid left them to assist Calculus with a physics experiment for his next class. Rosamund and Haddock went back to their work and after most of the reports had been filed, Ianto walked into their office. His normally fair face was paler and he was trembling.

Haddock offered him a seat, "Barnacles laddie, you're trembling worse than when Tintin held the twins for the first time. What's wrong, Harkness talk you into some convoluted costume scheme?" Ianto shook his head and insisted Harkness had nothing to do with his costume choice. He chucked a fashion magazine down onto the metal desk and it opened to a two page spread of Audrey Hepburn. Rosamund and Haddock examined the photographs, Miss Hepburn was immaculately dressed in simple a-line frocks with blocks of three colors.

"As you can see, I am a giant fan of Miss Hepburn and I wanted to dress as her. I know you both think Harkness is going to overdo it, and I agree with you. I think crossdressing would be a happy medium for us as a couple," the Irishman explained cautiously. Holding the page in his hands so it was parallel to Ianto, Haddock tried to imagine what Ianto would look like as a woman. Certainly, Ianto and Audrey had similar coloring and it wouldn't be hard investing in a high quality wig. Rosamund smiled and offered to help with make-up. Haddock clapped him on the back, "Ianto Jones, you will make a lovely woman and Harkness would be an ass to accept you as his date." Grateful, Ianto slipped from the room whistling and a spring in his step.

Haddock chuckled and commented, "I have to hand it to Ianto. As Harkness's partner, he gets swept up into Jack's plans but I'm pleased to see he can pull away and be his own man at times." Rosamund was inclined to agree and it was here Nestor entered with sandwiches and tea for lunch. As they munched, Harkness walked in with a large package and a broad smile plastered all over his chiseled face. Haddock and Rosamund braced themselves, it was obvious Jack Harkness was going to make some sort of perverted announcement.

"Lady and gentleman, while I respect Ianto for wanting to stick to simple crossdressing- I must admit I was hoping he would be a tad more avant-garde; this being carnival and all. If you are curious what is in the box, go ahead and look." Drinking some tea, he tossed it casually to Rosamund. Her hands gingerly peeled back the packing tape and Styrofoam peanuts when she let out a gasp of shock. Haddock glanced inside and stared at Harkness. Inside the package were furry handcuffs, rubber gags, and what appeared to be a whole lot of leather.

Eyeing Harkness suspiciously, Haddock lectured, "Look Jack, as long as I have known you I have been comfortable with your homosexuality. Barnacles, I was thrilled when and Ianto had that civil ceremony in Amsterdam. However, just because you two live under my roof doesn't make it okay for you to publically revel in your fetishes. I mean really, how are the others going to react?" He apologized but repeated his concern about personal safety.

Harkness laughed, "Really, is that all you're worried about? Yeah, I know you and Rosamund are more _vanilla _in the bedroom as are Tintin and Helene, but what Ianto and I do is really none of your concern. As for my public image, I can assure you any number of those pansies who claim homosexuality is sinning can be seen lounging at any of the shag clubs in Antwerp and Brussels. Besides, I have even slept with a few of them at some wild BDSM raves." Dismissively waving his hands, Harkness took his belongings upstairs and mumbled something about prudes running the world.

As the week progressed, nearly everyone came to some idea about costuming. Lynette and Tobias decided to dress up as Princess Leia and Han Solo, Vincent wanted to be Wedge Antilles, and Snowy could be Chewbacca. Snowy, however, did not want to dress up. Roxanna, the youngest, would be going as herself. Tintin and Helene settled on attending as Christine and Raoul from _Phantom of the Opera._ Haddock and Rosamund decided to go as themselves, and Sec decided to observe the goings on as Judge Turpinn. Ianto was going as Audrey Hepburn and Jack Harkness announced he would be going in leather, much to the confusion of the twins and Vincent.

Finally, the day of the Gala arrived and Marlinspike Hall was a hotbed of activity. In her bathroom, Rosamund carefully applied blush, lipstick and the essentials to a recently shaved Ianto Jones. He was wearing one of her linen shifts and a bra. Lynette had assisted her mother in stuffing the cups so they were evenly filled. In return, Ianto braided Lynette's chocolate locks into Leia Organa's signature cinnamon bun braids. Ianto's wig came from a costume shop and it was a near perfect fit. The dress he would be wearing was a red, black and white shift that just covered his patent leather flats.

Lynette was wearing a white tunic, grey leggings and brown boots. Her brothers were wearing their Halloween costumes and were excited about going to a 'grown-up' costume party. Tintin was wearing a fancy black coat and brown breeches while Helene wore a lavender ball gown that showed off her shoulders. Her hair was pulled back into a braided bun and it was adorned with a mother of pearl barrette shaped like a flower.

Calculus was dressed in his finest olive-green suit, Sec was wearing the wig and robes of his _Sweeny Todd _role, Ianto was drop dead gorgeous impersonating Audery Hepburn. As they waited for Nestor to bring the limo around, Vincent inquired, "Mummy, Daddy? Where is Uncle Jack?" Tintin and Helene glanced around, it was unusual for Harkness to be running late. Of course, he made an entrance wearing his trademark military jacket and black soldier boots. Only his shirt seemed stiff as did his trousers. Why, he was wearing a full leather ensemble under his jacket. Rolling their eyes, Tintin and Helene escorted their children into the car before their grandparents lectured Harkness again on his flouting of good taste.

Oddly, Haddock and Rosamund said nothing about Harkness. Tonight, they were going to have fun and not worry about anyone else besides themselves. After all, what was the worst that could happen?


End file.
